


He Also Knew Hell Waited For Him

by callmenovak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angst, Angst and Feels, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Drabble, Feels, Heavy Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, No Smut, Oneshot, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:59:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23448160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmenovak/pseuds/callmenovak
Summary: Dean sat on the steps of the bunker in the freezing cold that he felt on his bones with his head thrown back looking up at the stars with the trees outlining the sight.Castiel had come by today and everything Dean had spent the past week believing had crumpled, he had spent a week trying to get Castiel out of his mind and put the stupid crush he had on him go away, he spent a week kidding himself.Short Fic :/ Sad :(
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	He Also Knew Hell Waited For Him

**Author's Note:**

> Definitely not using Dean as a way to write my feelings down... haha... never... :o 
> 
> But yeah annnnyway Dean is a sad boi and Castiel is a mysterious boi
> 
> Can you tell I'm gen z or do I need to channel my inner Peter Parker more?

Dean sat on the steps of the bunker in the freezing cold that he felt on his bones with his head thrown back looking up at the stars with the trees outlining the sight. Castiel had come by today and everything Dean had spent the past week believing had crumpled, he had spent a week trying to get Castiel out of his mind and put the stupid crush he had on him go away, he spent a week kidding himself. 

Dean took a sip of his beer and admired the brightest star, a bird flew past the star and started circling around. How Dean wished he was a bird, the wind in your control and feeling it under your wings as you looked down at earth beneath you. How Dean wished he was a star, getting to hide away in the day and coming out at night to admire the earth and various lights people kept on through the night. How Dean wished he was anyone but himself, someone who didn’t need to worry or have any jobs or deadlines, someone who was happy and didn’t want to end it all. 

He wanted to cry, he needed to cry, but he couldn't, tears refused to even gather at the front of his eyes. Dean wanted it all to end but he also wanted to live forever, the juxtaposition of that was immense and confusing even for Dean. He didn’t want to have to keep doing this but he also knew hell waited for him and that was not something he wanted to experience, again.

“I like someone Dean” Castiel had said to him an hour ago before he left. Dean had been on his laptop trying to find some new tapes to buy for Baby but Cas had walked in and started talking about a new case he needed to leave for, Dean had nodded along. Castiel had packed the stuff he needed and told Dean that he liked someone but he didn’t know if he really did yet, that was why Dean couldn’t know. This had caused Dean to go heavier on the drinking and punching his walls until his hand was bruised, this is what led him to grab a beer and cool off outside like Sam had suggested.

Dean grabbed his phone and plugged in his earphones maybe if he played the music loud enough it would tune out his thoughts? 

Who was he kidding it just acted as background noise to his thoughts, like the people who played the violin on Titanic. He was going to have to suck in his emotions and become emotionless like his father had always told him, he should have been a good little soldier and stuck by those rules but Dean had let feelings control him. Now Castiel had ruined him in three words, three stupid little common words.

**Author's Note:**

> sad times for Dean :(
> 
> I now it's not said, because Castiel doesn't say much, but the crush he has is Dean.


End file.
